A question I’m often asked by clients working with me, is “What’s holding me back?” and “How do I get moving forward?” In other words, they feel stuck. Sometimes they’ve believed their limiting beliefs, while at other times, they haven’t yet decided to take action, or they’ve already made an uneducated guess and are waiting for something to show up to nudge them in the right direction. And most often, they’ve simply failed to question what really’s holding them back.
When we hold onto a limiting belief, our belief has direct access into our subconscious, and it’s incredibly powerful. There is a quote by organizational psychologist, Edward De Bono that applies perfectly, “The first essential for self-improvement is to know thyself.” You may recall that in the movie, “The Secret,” the central theme was quite accurate, when he stated that we need to be very clear about what we want, and then the movie went on to say that we needed to ask ourselves, “What’s holding me back?”
A good question to ask yourself, “What’s holding me back?” is it a limiting belief, or it’s just something you don’t like thinking about, or it’s something you feel isn’t your real self, as in, there’s not really any “you” versus “them” in your business or life. Here’s the change activity that I most consciously implemented, after losing my considered, yet unfulfilled dream business in 2007 and then, just a year later, to transition my purpose for living into what I desire my business to look like.
Prior to this change activity, I spent time a couple of times a week spending time thinking about, but not fully embracing the change that was on the horizon of my life. I spent time waiting for a sign on how exactly I should think, feel, and act, and it required lots of time at my favorite coffee shop.
One of the ways I stuff my “change activity,” into my calendar even though I don’t have a signal inside telling me that I actually wanted to do it, is that I have a selection of self-improvement books and/or audio programs. Additionally, my husband and I subscribe to a business-building discipline through this magazine. From time to time, we fill our week with something to listen to or read, regardless of our individual budgets.
I suppose that you could “change the channel” in your mind, if you would, in regards to how you think about what you’re going to do, you’re going to hear about it later. There’s also the principle of delayed gratification, which is a principle that I carry forward into my own personal existence. And I try to remember that my sense of belonging comes from within me, and that department of life is my responsibility alone. I don’t ever like to think that I’m invisible, because I believe that; I see myself as a source of strength for others, and I believe that I am a worthwhile human being no matter what.
I invite you to consider, or ask yourself some questions, but be sure to ask yourself, “What’s holding me back?” If there’s something that you like about not changing, or not taking action, then keep doing it only if you feel the feeling of its endurance. Otherwise get rid of it. It takes no more energy to retain a habit, just as I boast in my personal development cock racers that it takes zero energy to write an article like this, but it takes a lot of energy to actually enjoy it.
Changing how we think of things usually takes less energy than we think, and little time. When you think that the work, or change activity, will just take too long, or be too hard, then you will tend to fall into the same sorts of negative behaviors that you’re trying to change. You’ll get tired, you’ll lose interest, and you’ll take a break.
Our common human tendency is to procrastinate, and we have a choice to take the next step. If we choose to make the 10 minute time investment that the change activity requires, we not only move closer to making that have-be, or “change your life” goal, but we also send ourselves into the future to a different life experience, and away from complacency. We attract what we want, even though it may look and feel different than what we want. If I talk to a friend about my thoughts and feelings, and I say, “What’s holding you back?” even though the answer might be just that, I have changed my environment to a situation that is not conducive to my happiness. Ultimately, if I continue to surround myself with people who are in denial about their circumstances, I will hold myself in that space myself.
